Sukkat Shalom

Sukkat Shalom

So, true to the holiday season, I ended up differently housed again. It's actually the first stint of semi-homelessness that I have had in a few years. And it freaked me the shit out. My battle with housing has run a thorough gambit. Anywhere from fun-loving living in my van in my friends' driveway, to legitimately not knowing where I will sleep that night. Mostly, things work themselves out: “What do you mean you need me to dog sit for a week and shower at your place and have heat and lights? Sure, I guess I can.”

Twice in my life, I remember praying with all my heart, all my soul and all my might. Both involved the fear of not knowing where I would live and sleep. Both times my prayers were answered, within the day. Part of it is obviously the work I put into finding housing that happened before those hiccups, but the work I put into that prayer was still work. And when it all pays off in the end, my sense of relief credits the whole compilation of work expended.

This Sukkot, 5776, I was settling into my friend's home office, which is now my home. This is the first year that I've really done all four of the holidays (tonight is Simchat Torah). This week I have shaken the lulav, and eaten in a Sukkah. And what a blessing the festival has been as I question my sanity having moved back to a city. But I can sit outside with community for four hours breathing fresh air and eating from the harvest. I'm not sure what they're harvesting in Israel this week, probably fruit that we can't even grow here: lemons, pomegranates. But some things are universal, so a squash salad also seemed very festive and proved that the story need not be literal to be true.

Did I live in a booth on the edge of my fig or date field? No. I don't have those things. I have a couch and two amazing friends that I'm getting to know way better than I ever thought I'd have the opportunity to do. But I did get a last bit of glorious outside time, in the city, and before Winter. I did spend holy time with community. I bumped into a friend's sister. I fulfilled an illogical mitzvah (who doesn't love shaking inedible produce?). I learned that the parts of life that are important and the parts of life that are fragile are different, overlap, and are the same. I definitely had a week of festive blessing which will help me dwell in a sukkat shalom, a shelter of peace and wholeness, for at least the year to come.

Sukkot (5772)

….Now is when I must

Trust

And put my faith in G-d, Ribono Shel Olam

Who has yet not let me down

Though sleeping out

Hashem made soft the ground

And Adonai no matter how hard I try to hide

I am found