HOOKED
In my struggles to describe how I am
both a complete, functioning, adult-ish human, but that I find it
excruciatingly hard (almost to the point of being impossible) to
continue on without my significant other I have come up with an
analogy.
It's like I lost my hand a long time ago. I got a pirate hook and adjusted. I was living my full,
now-pirate life, successfully and happily. BUT THEN, we were on shore or
something and I got a hold of a space-age prosthetic. It's so
prehensile, all five fingers, stronger than my arm would have been
anyway. In short: it really upped my pirate game. Then the pirate
guild took it away. I love the guild. They do great things for me and
other pirates. They're not perfect, but nothing is. The hook is fine
but how can I go back to it? Doesn't the pirate guild want me to be a
better pirate?
Upon first encounter, my analogy is off
the wall. But as I turn it over, and over, and over, I find it more
apt. Like all of Creation we exist incomplete. We're all missing a
hand. The best we can do is learn to live with who we are to our
fullest. And we certainly shouldn't enter into relationships until we
learn to do that, with or without a hook.
I found the person who doesn't complete
me. I am whole without her. She completes something more than me that
reaches so far down into my soul it can probably high-five Creation.
Going on without her I guess is technically possible but I will never
be as good without her as I am with her. And I sincerely hope that I
am not forced to choose between that connection and a life on the
seas.
