Two State Beard

So I never posted this, probably because I later realized it was half-formed crap, but I'm really tired now, so it looks great.

This is going to be a little scattered and half-formed but the self medicating with coffee is not actually fixing all of my problems.

ARTICLE: http://www.forward.com/articles/148983/?p=all

Look at that: the article that I'm referencing actually in my reference! I'm like a grown up.

I would first like to state that my biggest problem with fundamentalism is that it is detrimental to beards and beardom. We cannot have all of these crazies (Jewish and other) running around perverting everything and in general being schmucks while sporting real good beards. The Amish fundamentalist were trying to fix this, but I think only made it worse.

I really like how stringently this article points out that fundamentalism is reactionary to modernity. I don't know whose streimle was on so tight as to think Judaism should never change: That's dumb. When we started putting printed words in codex [books] instead of scrolls did we say OH HELLZ NO? Nah, now we have sweet books that carry well and share knowledge with all the people. And as a throwback to tradition and things that are inconvenient but still pretty awesome, we have scrollz in our synagogues.

The ancient Israelites did not have boats or planes or cars: all of these things help us visit and help Israel today, but maybe we should get rid of them since they are new. Not in the Bible? We wouldn't know from Bible if it weren't for writing and paper and shit...stolen, new technologies in their time. Aren't we here to seek out the divine in everything? Isn't farming easier with tools?

Fundamentalists are chumps. I understand. And agree fully with the points of the article that address letting them be but not letting them rule us. G-d they breed like rabbits.

Two state solution. Instead of making a Jewish state and a Palestinian state, let's make a moderate and a fundamentalist state. They can knife fight and pray a lot and the rest of us can be awesome.

Okay, that wasn't a real suggestion [I think], but I like the one in the article about reverse, reverse proselytizing. I will Reform Lubavitch the hell out of them. However, the Reform and ALL of the moderates need to get our shit together before that can be effective. We are just not as organized as the fundamentalists. I recommend cookies. People listen better when you give them cookies.