Coffee 'Drash

Here's a rough draft of my Midrash on G-d making Coffee.

Coffee Drash

Shortly after G-d expells Adam and Eve from the garden He feels the sting of remorse. Was he too harsh on them? While Adam and Eve wander around bewildered the Eternal decided to help. They cannot just be invited back in: they won't learn anything, they'll stop respecting G-d and they'll eat the damn fruit and take over the world-and the world is so new that we just can't let that happen.

Luckily, for Adam, Eve and the rest of us: G-d is pretty smart sometimes. He stops Adam and says “Your limited life of toil will be difficult- more difficult than I had intended so I'm giving you something to ease the burden.”

“You can't just let us back in?”
“No.”

G-d goes back to the garden and removes seeds, one from the Tree of Knowledge and one from the Tree of Life. Splitting them and combining them.

“Plant this in the warm places and harvest it's beans. Grind them and mix them with hot water and it will be as if I have breathed life in you anew.”