Hello Jews, Goodbye Spain

I, after 2 months of a life that did not feel like my own, am home. This transition feels like one of my G_d's not so subtle sometimes periods. My Last day in Spain was a long one and the first time I'd seen a Jew since Yom Kippur. Here's what that was like:

Hello Jews Goodbye Spain

Firstly, let me share my rabbinical blessing with my Mishkan T'Filah for travelers without which I would not have navigated that service at all.

Today I arrive to Madrid, tired and scared. I clawed my sorry ass to the synagogue, ironically placed near the “Iglesia” (“church”) stop on the Metro where the man was kind of mean and wouldn't let me enter because I had bags with me. So much for unwavering hospitality. Abraham had just cut his junk and he managed to be hospitable. I understand security though. So I sat outside the synagogue, it was a mildly deserted corner of the city so I sat there and prayed and read and wondered if the people passing me were Jews. The ones that went in, I assume were the Jews. They didn't have suitcases.

I saw a potentially Jewish looking fellow with some books and asked him if he knew of a hostel nearby that costs less than 20€. He looked at me sadly and said no, it's hard in Madrid. His books were not prayer books, there is a library nearby which when he passed by a few minutes later, I assumed had been closed. One man walked by and he looked frum. Black hat. I gave him a good old “Boker Tov”. He then tried to speak to me in Hebrew...then he switched to Spanish but Hebrew accent plus Spanish is bad. Then Mr. Library came back. He had looked up a hostel, nearby that was under 20€--he even had a print out for me. They guy from the desk had been warned about the potential Jew creepin' about still and came out to confront my Righteous Gentile.

I'm mildly offended that a stranger and a gentile had to help me navigate as a Jewish “stranger a foreign land” when a giant box of a building filled with my people was there. However, between his kindness, the frumle and some quality bonding with G-d via the words of the Reb Nachman, I conjured the strength of spirit and body to schlep to the hostel. I really like having a place to stay when I'm in big cities. It's way better than the streets. There's food and internet and books and I can set my bags in a locker. Best 19,08€ that I've spent while here.

So after recuperating, I went back. The e-mail I had said to come during either the morning or the evening services. I showed up 15 minutes early, in case they needed to show me anything special give me some sort of sephardi orientation. What ended up happening was probably the result of many miscommunications in the e-mail process but they mostly just ignored me. So I sat alone in the woman's section trying to follow along and stand when I should but not when I shouldn't. The buzzing of their rapid, ladino and their chatting all through services still felt like family was near though.

So my first orthodox service was alone (there weren't even women in the building) and in Spain. And I don't care what the nice little trying-to-convert-boy says, the Sephardi Kaddish DOES have two extra lines towards the end. And I have also never heard Kaddish that many times in my life. It's on pg. 23 in my book and 36 in his book.

The rabbi said some nice things in TERRIBLY accented Spanish about T'filah being a call without a phone and then we said Kaddish a few more times and then we went up to the roof to bless the evening and say Kaddish, with an extra two verses, again. The ger and I were sectioned off into a corner because we don't count.

Afterward the rabbi scolded me because women don't have to pray. And by scolded I mean he guilted, he didn't actually say I'd done anything wrong, he just implied it. He asked me a few things. I tried to talk to folks, because as I'd said in my e-mail, I'd wanted to chat and learn about Spanish-jewery. He just told me that he wasn't Spanish and then blessed me. It was very nice, pretty Chassidic and all in all, we'll call it a win.

And then I flew into JFK in New York City. So many Jews. Some frum with hats and their tzit tzit showing, some just bearded men in “ambiguously frum” hats. Home. Jews. And I didn't have to worry about getting stranded in NYC or Chicago because I have Jewish Family in both places...JEWS JEWS JEWS. The end.